Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Area Man Believes Sheri Dew Is Condoleezza Rice

MANTI, UTAH--Local resident Carl Sagers has put forward a theory that some experts are finding unexpectedly plausible: well-known Mormon women's leader and Deseret Book executive Sheri Dew is leading a double-life as Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

"Dew can rise only so far inside Mormonism," says Sagers. "To fulfill her ambitions, she puts on black face and jumps into the national arena as Condoleezza."

Sagers has produced a chart showing that neither woman's public appearances have ever overlapped with each other. "When Dew disappears on some kind of mysterious business trip, that's when Rice starts showing up in the media visiting all these hotspots around the world," Sagers asserts.

In addition, he believes the name "Condoleezza" reveals clues to the Dew connection. "Dew owns a 'condo' and has a neice named 'Eliza'--it's not too much of a stretch to combine those two names. The double ZZ could reflect the boredom she feels in her Mormon role."

When asked about the allegation, White House spokesman Scott McClellan said, "Hah, that's a hoot. As if a Mormon black woman could ever gain such a high office."


Abel Keogh said...

Ah, funny. I wish the Sugar Beet was up and going. I loved it when it was out.

Anonymous said...

Two powerful women...what a wonder example these women are to the rest of us....regardless of color any woman can be exalted in the Mormon Church.......just imagine