Don't Get Snippy with Me

My vasectomy on Friday went much as expected, with some twinges and minor generalized scrotal ache, but overall it went pretty fast and was bearable. Afterward, when a pretty, young nurse came in, I thought I was going to get a nice sponge bath, but she just gave me my instructions, set a couple of gauze pads on the counter with antibiotic ointment squirted on them, and left me to pull the tighty-whities my wife bought me for the occasion right over the dried soap and blood from the procedure.

So I felt a little skanky down below until I could shower on Sunday morning. I kept ice on myself for the first day, which wasn’t as uncomfortable as it sounds, and I took Lortab on Friday, but it zonked me out so I switched to Excedrin, and that worked fine for the little bit of discomfort I felt. Earlier in the week, the bishop called and asked me to speak in sacrament meeting, and I was happy to have an excuse to decline—however, I’m sure I could have done it, if I really needed to. (So now I’m certain he’ll call me again soon, and I dread having to prepare and deliver a talk. Maybe I can find a ready-made talk on my hard drive or online and just read it. I don’t mind not doing a good job, because that will make them less likely to ask me to do stuff in the future.)

I still feel some twinges down below, but overall the recovery went a little more smoothly than I expected. I have to give sperm samples in a couple of months, and until then we’re supposed to keep using condoms. Ann has been extremely firm about not wanting to risk pregnancy one bit—in fact, whenever she sees a pregnant woman, she feels pity for her. My dad, the father of 10 children, commented that maybe we should wait longer and see how we felt, but that didn’t phase us.

So this past weekend was pretty nice, actually. I had an excuse not to go out, I didn’t have any damn student papers to read, Jordan and Sophie didn’t come over, I got to miss church, and I was able to revise almost a third of my novel manuscript. I think it reads pretty well and is engaging, but I have no idea if others will find it provocative or boring. I intend to get it revised by the end of the month and send it out to my agent and some friends. My experience has been that most people I ask won’t get around to reading or commenting on it, but that’s okay—often I don’t get around to reading things people ask me to read either.