New iPhone Features I Hope to See

The other day, I took two-year-old Zach to the playground and played with him for a while, but then I got tired and hot, so I sat under a tree. Naturally I took out my iPhone, and within moments I was listening to music and doing e-mail and blogs. Ann called, and at one point I thought about taking a picture of Zach but didn’t quite get around to it.

When I realized my bladder needed emptying, I actually found myself wishing that the iPhone had some feature that could take care of that. This got me thinking about other things I wish my iPhone could do, so here’s a wish list for Steve Jobs and company:

Hot plate: Seems like I should be able to set my iPhone on a flat surface and use it to warm up a can of chili or something.

Pill dispenser: Each day I take a couple of prescription pills and several nutritional supplements, and it sure would be nice just to slide open a little port on my iPhone and shake out the day’s pills, downloaded from an online virtual pharmacy. (I would have also suggested a Pez dispenser, but I hate Pez candy. Gum or breath mints might be nice, though.)

Fan with AC: I’m not talking a huge gust of air, just a little stream of nicely cooled air that I could direct upon myself in hot, sticky situations.

Inflatable pillow: For those times when I want a quick nap under a tree or something, my iPhone could provide a little pillow to comfort me, as long as it can still simultaneously function as an iPod too.

Consecrated oil dispenser: You know those little keychain oil fobs? I don’t carry one, but I don’t see why the iPod couldn’t have a little reservoir for this important priesthood accessory.

Other ideas: Heated ice scraper, electric razor, laser pointer, pocket knife, bread maker, laser gun, blender, toothpick dispenser, chicken plucker

What else can you think of?