My Two Oldest Kids

Here's a photo of me at a recent family gathering with my two oldest kids, adopted in a previous marriage: Jordan is age 11, and Sophie is age 9. They live with their mom in Lehi, but we have them over to our house quite often, and they both have their own bedrooms. They help a lot with the babies, and sometimes they help clean up the house. They have both been very affectionate toward me lately, and I enjoy interacting with them a lot of the time, though I often feel father's guilt about not giving enough time and attention to all five of my children.

My wife is a pretty good sport about them, although it adds quite a bit of stress when they come over because they make LOTS of messes of various kinds and create some conflicts. The only time we've gone to marriage counseling was early in our marriage when my wife was trying to come to terms with my ex-wife and how I handle her, with which my wife came to mostly agree after gaining certain insights into my ex-wife's personality. I guess I probably better not say too much more in a public forum...

Jordan has an open relationship with his LDS birth mom, who is married and has adopted and birthed two children of her own. We know Sophie's non-Mormon birth mom, but my ex-wife isn't on speaking terms with her, so neither is Sophie. Due mostly to lack of support and follow-through at home during the week, both kids are struggling a lot in school right now, with mostly "N" grades that equal failing. For reasons you can imagine by reading between the lines, both kids have already had lots of therapy and will probably needs lots more, and I often worry about what lies ahead in their teenage years, but maybe one or both of them will pull through better than I dare hope. I hope the savings accounts we have for them go toward college tuition, missions, and/or weddings rather than other things I can imagine...