Thursday, December 28, 2006

My Bizarre Toothbrush


OK, so my wife does most of the shopping, including shopping for our tooth brushes. She generally buys multi-packs of whatever at Costco, and I'll stick a pack in my personal bathroom drawer so I can grab a new toothbrush each time I run out of toothpaste, which I find is a good time to replace. While I'm quite particular that I like Colgate Cavity Protection Great Regular Flavor--as opposed to the many other choices Colgate offers me in their Total®, Max Fresh®, Sensitive®, Fresh Confidence®, Tartar Control, Luminous™, Simply White®, 2in1, Sparkling White, Baking Soda & Peroxide Whitening Oxygen Bubbles, and Kids categories (those are all real from the Colgate website)--my only criteria in a toothbrush is that it not be too hard in the bristles or too small in the head, which lessens the effectiveness of my strokes.

Anyway, somewhere along the line--during my first marriage, actually--I developed the habit of brushing my teeth only in the morning and only in the shower--and if you think that's bad, take a look at my cavity-free mouth, you hoser. Seriously, the only cavity I've had filled is located in one of my wisdom teeth--and yes, I still have all four. And I still have the sealants installed in my molars from 25 years ago. One key to my dental near-perfection is that I grew up in Southern California with fluoride in the water.

So anyhow, a couple of mornings ago in the shower my elbow knocked my toothbrush to the floor. When I bent over to pick it up, I experienced a very strange sensation of hearing something BUZZING right near my feet. I couldn't figure it out! I thought something was coming up out of the drain to get me.

When I picked up my toothbrush, I realized that it was what was buzzing! Now, by all appearances this is just a normal-sized toothbrush, perhaps slightly chunky in the handle but not much. The packaging says something about "Pulsar," but I admit I never looked closely at the packaging or the toothbrush itself. It turns out that the brush has two little bumps on the handle for turning it off and on, but I never noticed those either.

This morning I tried brushing with the vibrating feature for the first time, and it was OK. What's funny is that I've thrown away some earlier versions of this toothbrush without tapping into the battery power at all. The bottom line is that the dental care industry has just become way too complex and sophisticated for my 40-year-old brain to keep track of! Honey, did you know these brushes vibrated when you bought them?

5 comments:

Ann said...

Nope, but I do now. Maybe I should try one. Are you hiding them from me?

Christopher Bigelow said...

You can get one out of my bathroom drawer, honey. But no one else reading this is allowed to take one...

Anonymous said...

It's your little bro Dave. I got one of those damn Pulsar brushes in my stocking and haven't opened it yet. I'm a bit suspicious.

Ann said...

I started using your funky toothbrush (well not actually yours but one from the drawer) and it kinda bugs me. My mouth feels all jittery for a while after I brush.

Holly said...

I realize you're not advocating that we all go out and buy this toothbrush, and I'm glad about that, because things like this make me nuts. It's just not that hard to move your hand while you brush your teeth. I don't know why we think we need everything to be mechanized and motorized. OK, I don't want to walk everywhere, and I put my computer to a lot of use. But a disposable motorized toothbrush? It's a waste to make it, and a waste to throw it away.

Holly